I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
