If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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