We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How does it feel to date your dad?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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