Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize