i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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