It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
