i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you made out with another girl for some wings
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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