There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
