She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
