dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
