Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
