Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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