wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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