there was a trapeze. enough said
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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