We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
