I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize