I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
