So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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