I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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