I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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