just come out here and I will go home with you...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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