Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
