Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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