so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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