just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize