I think my fart just growled at me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize