Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
