She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
