i just had sex bonerless
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
