you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
