Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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