Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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