Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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