I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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