Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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