I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
