Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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