Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
