Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
