I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just tell him i said nine months
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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