I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
