Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
