Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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