Have you finally orgasmed yet?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
