This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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