Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
