i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
