so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
