If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
