I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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