Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
