Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
what is it with giant penises always finding me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
