I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
