I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
