I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
