Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize