she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
