Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
